War Of The Minds

(Me)

I want to know what love is...

Not Hollywood's version where ol dude fucks ol girl, gets her pregnant, marries, then divorces.

That's tired!!!



(The Enemy)

So...

Ugh can I just b me?

Like realli tho...

I'm not stunting after no man r woman gosh!

Be happy you got yo "nigga" nd leave me alone!!!!!!

There is not enough weed in the world for this foolishness...

"Cheers, toast, bravo!"

Let's here it for the ASSHoles!!!



(Me)

I'm fasting from fake nd selfish people.

I will no longer eat at the table of my earthly family.

When Jesus was questioned, he answered "Who is my mother, father, sister, brother? Only those who do the will of my Father?"

So don't get upset if I don't reply to phone calls r cut your influence from my life. Nothing personal, Just business.

(The Spirit)

How come everytime I go to rip the veil, you coming thru the west gate?

Hmmm?

I know they built the east gate but where u coming from?



(Me)

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

I just wish I had arms to run to

I could be met wit a warm embrace

and a shoulder to cry on...



(The Spirit)

Just because you can prophesy don't make you a prophet!

God used a jackass to prophesy.

Prophets r to see... (Know the spirit of God, discern, see into your spirit).

Stop letting people spit on you until they see.

God will do nothing on Earth but by revealing it first to his servant (the prophet)...



(Me)

How come we swear by the "Word" only to plead to a lie?

(The Spirit)

Never despise a day of small beginnings...

If you just so happen to, think back on your first steps nd then reflect on being able to walk, run, or drive.



(Me & The Spirit)

Depression u have no resolution in my home.

Strife the walls aren't strong enough for u, discord we can't contain.

So keep passing by but you're not invited.

These four walls of the temple located in my mind have no place, no place for those of ur race.

Now get out my face

Over Again

I'm dying to the World nd the things it can't do 4 Me!

I'm sick of people lying for Fun and trying to discourage me to the point of Suicide.

When u had it, u was walkn round smellin yo'self nd making fun of me nd mines.

Now u aint got it, got other people handling yo business and getting Government handouts but u still selfish!

U don't get it do you?

Simple Fish!

That's all u are, and that's all u will ever be!

Wake up nd smell yo shit, cause it STANK!

Kill yoself Jackasses!!!

I need 2 learn this lesson quickly! I need 2 learn this lesson quickly!

Its almost 2 years and I'm still chasing a Nightmare.

Losing my mind, abusing my health.

And for what a beautiful man, who has nothin else.

Continuosly feeding on my spiritual wealth.

Nothing ever taught, learned, experienced, heard or found out is ever just merely words

But a foreshadow of a series of decisions you will have to make.




(Choices)

I'm so over you Nigga!

Well to be honest in a way I'm over myself too.

And I'm over all the rest of you!

I choose to love you because that's the only way I can be free!

I choose to free you because I can't save you and it hurts!

I am hurting you because I need you to know you're not a child anymore.

Let's just love each other knowingly without regret, remorse or shame.

Let's love one another over again!

Again over I say!

Again until I fall over and Over again!

Ode to The Past (A Eulogy)

Freedom is a mindset! If u encase yourself inside ur own mind, u have no right to blame a system u urself r not a part of! Don't bind urself nd don't let the world make u think it can contain u!!

Fuck It, Write

I write to create, but my creations won't obey me outside of these lines.
They see the creator abandoned
So they rebel
In it
Outside of these lines they take corporal
Form, freely and knowingly they give chase to my rebuke
Running madly and angrily
Seeking to destroy my deppest secrets and ambitions
Left away
Because

I write to be free, but my words provide no form of escape.
The adventure once found in writing no longer my own
No means of transporation can be found
No vehicular or automotive in ink
Just this sinking ignorance
Pulling me away from my mind, enchanting my words
For another
Until again I write
Of nothing, but of how I long to get away
With you.

I write Brian & ___________
You lover, who are you
I see you as you are and mine
But you see nothing unless you see bills
Encoded with a myth tracing "In God We Trust"
But my lover why I write for you
I do not know
I still write for you because I love you as you can create and become
I long for you because in error I've hurt you
Deeply and unknowing
I continue writing your beautiful name
So much so that your name has crept into my household and kinsman
The rememory of your name spoken every time I see her
Infant.. Bearing yor name
So will I ever write of how we loved...

each other.

I write to smile, but in writing I have no face, value.
No illustration can detail the words I write in front of my face
Once again I can run
Madly and fierce on the wings of this paper
Until my words end, and end
I write.
Maybe if he were written as my lover then on paper he'd have to love me.
Lest I write of my end, will it become The End?
If I gave up writing then would I value what I face?
But still of these things I alone know nothing
Fuck it, Write

He Won't Teach Me How To Love Him (Anymore)

Of all the things I have learned
Heard, said, even whispered.
None of it.
Loud and brightly.
Or not.
Of all the things I wanted.
Including you I needed.
Yet above all these things
There is one thing I question.
So to you, lover, I propose.
A series of interviews and applications,
Questions beating the veins of my heart
(Thoughts even)
Additionally, some inquiring
Other distant minds.
So to my proposal again
Who would know?
If for a moment I gave
That part, island, waters surrounding
Of myself, to you
In return what would you do
How do I say those words
I look, as if your eyes hold forgiveness
Forgetfulness of this.
Is. Our business
How do I create a riddle
Sly enough
For your cunning
To show and inform
I must say this, lover
I must, lover
Acceptance brings healing
Rejection hatred
It's not enough to say "Love me"
Not close when cries "I Love You"
And here again I digress from proposing
My life
To give you, knowingly
As if trying to love you
But for what purpose
It has been some long lonely times
Teaching me not how to love but how far I haven't loved
Farther than the stars
Indefinetly unlike reality
Yearning for one day holding
Won't you explain
Tell me
Write, sing, scream it
Paint it if you have to
Or mime if it works
Give me a sign so I may love you, fully and legally.
Teach me.
I propose again me to you
You.
The first real
Real real
Let's not dictate with classification
Damn it just teach me to love you

The Cry of the Mistress

relatonships. Why don't they seem to last?
Cause you, he always mover around so fast
swaying them
   playing them
Obviously persuading them
While I'm incessantly trying to possess him
Venture
on my adventure
try
   fly
    glide from side to side
High!
that is
On my love
I even open up a little
to try to let you in
So you can choose to go back again
And again
To some other
Well, ain't that a bitch?
   Or is it me?

Maybe had I not called
You
  Knowing how you'd feel
Momentarily
Oftn
For himor her, you know how you do
Over an over tis truth we've been through
Yet still I wait
Saving my lov
Can't you see?
Cause that's just deep
Deep
   deep
I'm weak
But you, baby you, you just don't know
Pain you never let hal
So let' hide it
I won't fight, ignore or run from this
It' all my fault...

Maybe it would've worked
I say, let's stay
In my head are so many lies
Why oh why do I cry?
Will  oh please somehow I ie
Only inside
That's just how it is swet lost loe
Why can't it be, a life
    For just you, me, and she
Laughing
Learnng, holding, and yearning
For more loving
Of Another
Knowing you could never
Never ever give your life
To another, holding hands loving man.

Sure I'll take all blame
Even play your most dangerous game
Through all this sin and shame
The mental, verbal, an emotional abuse
fits of rage, hate, distrust, and deliberate misuse
Until you decide to claim
    give names
Better yet obtain something more suitable for you
What about the hearts you took
    Not only mine
Following before and after

On Death (Prose 1)

 

Why do you come for me death? when you have all but my life... Brown green dirt on the bottom of my shoe. The sky pale blue but my heart vibrant and red. Friend calls me goth. But what do they know? He is my heart yet I do not long for him. Sexual that is. He says Im goth and that it's okay. Life kinda hard for me and that is all that he said. He and another best friend move away last year. Black clouds come in and I lose all my head. Weeks go by I call and he answer he say that they move. I cry and get mad. Friends we sposed to be yet I learn last they abandon me again.

Why do you seek after me envy? when I finally love who I am... Year and a half since a man enter me still. Yet I hate the other girls. But what do they have? I am my own my clothes kinda old. They not like the rest. Yellow piss come from me like everybody. I buy for myself and need none from no other. But they wear the best go out every week. I work 24/7 and they better off than me. "Be weary in your well doing", but I wanna be seen. we go out and have fun all nite long. I see that bitch she pretty than me, her hair real. They treat me like Im ugly again.

Why do you make me HARD lust? when Im unsure of what I want... The more I see him the more it hurts. Sometimes I burst and it confuses me. Brown blunts litter the floors, left burning in my hand. Damn, damn, damn. I forget sometimes that Im a bottom. Or maybe a top. Versatile. Ha. What am I? I dont really know and it scares me. Not because I dont know but because I cant explain it. You know what I mean. Naw you dont. You became whatever they liked the most. In my case. Well I guess you get it.

Why do you tease me love? when Im more afraid of you than being alone... The rain falls and I cry, why is that? Is it because what it reminds me of. I see it everywhere. Couples seemingly happy. Holding hands, kissing. You know all the shit I dont do anymore. Sounds so funny saying Anymore. Like it was something I did yesterday. Cant even remember the last time I said I Love You. To sis, bro, or mammon. I wanna know what you really are. Love. How you really feel. You know. I wanna get to know you. Not feelings, body parts, or bullshit lies from the next GOOD movie where ol' boy and ol' girl fuck the dog shit outta each other and marry.

Death of A Lady (She Is No Moore)

3/3/2007
(The Death)
Around eleven/midnite... Drop
My spirit falls
floatin
As tho Im losin
Yet it feels so
I dont kno'
A bit of happiness mixed with
AHHHHH.........
She IS no Moore
I weep
Long hard deadly tears
But why
Ive longed for this moment
And in all
It
  Is
    All!!
This grandeur of a moment
comes at the climax
of my teaching.
Funny (Hah)
I lose my heart
when I grow
Aint that somethin'
She was my mother
She IS no Moore
I bear it alone
My hope
my mind
my life
It is...

5/22/2007

(No Moore)
I am among my Class
Alone among at least 100+
No one MATTERS
I search for the face
But it is not.
In the midst I see no shadow, nothin
No apparition
She IS no Moore
How could this be?
We break bread
she watches, they say
LIes
I know...

Non-Immediate Family

(For The Family With Living Without)
We all said I love you
But I hate who you are
your ego
 even the way you talk
it all makes no sense
to be in love with....
Someone
who I'd rather see dead
God knows
I can't understand
how you think
     how you see
          feel perfect
Deadly ain't ya.
Enticing, intriguing, ignorant.
but you just
      so
        Fucking Stupid.

My Ken... Doll

My very first boy
Toy.

Baby, beautiful. My boo
No, it's just you.
I won't tell you I missed you
But we both know that I do
So let me tell you I love you
Then you can play with me too.
Time for show & tell, forget your old toys
Pay attention.
Now I want you to show me how you are, boy
Let's spin bottles
And make all kinds of noise
I can hide while you seek
Later sit at my table, I'll even serve you tea
Rather watch cartoons or whatever is on TV?
Lets' not play your game
You know that
One word, creep
Aww go to sleep
But Ken wants to freak
Oh how sweet
Now let me tell you how it feels
Still

Playmates, my first date
All thats left now but hate
Won't you say you are my heart
Because you are
And that's where it starts
Inside
See baby my treasure you found it
Reassembled, rearranged
Banged and claimed
So very
Damn, hard!
Ahh.
I want to say why my heart beats
But I'm silicone and plastic right down to my feet
We were made together
All in one
But still parts, copies of you belong
Some
If only I worked without (batteries) won't you buy double A
My secret in you- Made in China.
Feelings and love my face may express
Till you got shipped left, off towards the West
Fed Ex
UPS.
Wanting to free him
Ken that is
Then lines became thin
Now all Barbies come fully equipped
With their very own
Ken... doll

My Pain (For My Mother Stephanie M. Moore)

Only me, yet I do not show it
Myself that is
I must not know it
Seen as by you
Well this life is not true
Lies, lies, lies tie me to this spot
Trying and trying as my soul rots
This isn't right not at all for me
What am I? What have I come to be?
A dream, an illusion, or some sort of deceit;
brought upon constantly by self-defeat
This life, this time, this way is not right
To be and to be would be all worth the fight
What shall, what can, what will I do?
Again and again until I'm finally through
To show then prove, and be set on the side
Where will I go from whence I cannot hide
In the front or on the top
Do you see me now
I can but didn't haven't I made you proud
Over and over I've become what you say
My life, now yours, can it be no other way
Is it if I feel bad you feel good?
You hurt me and you
I always knew that you would
You'veruined it all and taken my soul
Freed from this life is my one true goal
All I want from this life for the sake of my name
Is to escape from this shame and feel no pain......

Poison In My Soul

This sickness supercedes.
Trying to control all of my
     Needs
       my being
     dreams and beliefs
From wanting and fervently longing, for another
To hold or cling to to
Let inside
Introduce to this deadly and powerful thing
That stops me from loving
          and sharing
Whats deep.... much deeper
Than the true color of my days
It cuts me inside
Piercing more than any blade
Could it be God's gift
Although it appears man-made
Keeping men, women, even youth (lovers)
From each other
Lively diseases
Viruses non and communicable
Spreading
Across the body of man
Coursing through the entire
Of loveless souls
Who are still searching not knowing
that their desires for forbidden pasion
Is serious
Yes as serious as every last orgasm
Abandoned and hopeless
This grieving taboo still passes
 Only because of unforgotten agony
From being ripped and stolen on the inside
Causing bodies to twist and cry out
Only for love

Really... Really Not

Feelings of rejection and disgust
Faces portraying disinterest on becoming close
Close like vein and blood, pressing into the forskin of man
Pleasuring himself off of others
Torn and scarred by the words of his brothers
Left emotionless
Unattentive
Yet...

Knowingly we seem to forget
That we love. (Anyway)
That we are (Nothing)
And that we've become (Broken)
Shit guised as feeings
Showing not remorse
Of destroying virgin dreams
Of loving nameless dicks
Still loving?
Seemingly forever
Which only lasts minutes
Not hours
Minutes, lost in the fragmented mind
or seconds, of multiple orgasms from feeling inside
Simply overflowing with countless sex
The anticipation of "I Love You"
Really??

Stream of Conscious

I AM.
I am writing.
They are watching.
I am writing that they are watching.
What am I writing while they watch
Meaningless words.
I am thinking.
I am trying to think what they are thinking
But still they are watching.
I continue to write.
As long as they watch I shall write.
But what? Writer's block.
Writer block those that watch as you write what you think.
So I write.
I will continue to write.
I am a writer.
I have been written.
Write, write.

Again
I am writing.
Again, just writing.
I'm also sitting and thinking.
Yet again.
Now what am I thinking?
I'm thinking "what will I write"
I see what I'm thinkin
On paper I write what I think I see
They are listening.
They're trying to hear what I'm writing
But didn't they see it
Watch me write.
Listen to the words that I write
It's alright
For we must write, for life
write for it is right.

I continue
I'm continuing to live and write.
They laugh
Now they are laughing
Do they laugh because I write?
Or because I write they're laughing
They won't stop
I won't stop,
Writing that is.
I can't stop writing.
I don't listen
I just write that they laugh though I don't listen to them laugh while I write.
I should write of love
or should I love what I write.
Or simply write LOVE.
But how do I write, love?
Is it eros?
Is it phileo?
Or agape?
I wrote all three.
God is.

I write God is LOVE.
Surely God loves me
So I shall continue to write of God.
I shall continue to write God loves.
Write, love.
Right love.
Write.